Written while Drunk on Thoughts

14 Dec 2012


Moving to London is always been a dream that I wanted. Its not a dream per say but its something that I really wanted. I am not as home bound as I used to be when I was in Norwich and I am less afraid, about everything. I was worried that things would not be just I wanted it to be but somehow it doesn't turn out to be too bad. Studies does worry me but yet again, if London is too competitive, if I strive my best, even though I am not good enough for London, I would definitely be good enough for Malaysia.

I just found out that shuyee is going out with a former colleague of mine. She is one of my oldest friend, even though we went separate ways after high school, it felt nice to see her again. I am a little jealous, I think I deliberately do that to myself. Oh, you are planning to go study 7000 miles away from home, fall in love with a guy back home. Things has been going fine with every perspective of your life, screw it up. Maybe subconsciously I am immature and I always wanted things that I thought I never wanted. 

I wanted to work outside of Malaysia, but somehow back home, there is always someone who drawn me back. I never wanted to be at the same place all my life, yet I still wanted to go back. I wanted to date a handsome foreigner yet I found myself someone back home to love and I always close up.

To date, I do not really know what I wanted in life yet. I still need some time to figure out. I never think anything would last forever, well at least until i die anyway. When I finally do, I guess I know what I wanted. 

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