Written while Drunk on Thoughts

14 Jun 2014

Confidence with a sprinkle of imagination

The differences between the Western and the Eastern is stark. Actually, the variations are a world different and you don't have to go too far as to compare the East and the West. I would like to think I have both side of the world in me. I am an Anglicised Malaysian Chinese girl who learned English by watching Friends. I am NOT ashamed that I am made up of this mix, where some ingredients were mixed in later than others. No one is made up of only ONE culture, not in the 21st century. But lets face it, one wouldn't stray too far from what he was brought up with. No matter how hard he tried and why would he? Bear in mind everyone embrace their culture in a different way.

I am proud of my heritage and my culture but I love to learn about and from new cultures. Whats odd and weird with our culture might be completely acceptable or even a norm in other culture. The joy of learning a new language just cause. Try it. La vie est plein de petit bonheurs.

A friend once summed it up very well. Eastern culture are more passive compared to Western culture. That is why people from the western side of the world seems much more confident. I was in Singapore once ordering a Sangria to match the glorious hot weather. When the waiter was just about to serve me the drink, he hesitated about his judgement on my age. Now everyone that knows me know I look slightly younger than I am suppose to be. Mainly due to my "petite" frame. I "confidently" told him I am not underage and he paid me the first compliment I got in the department - He said I am confident.

Again, if you know me, confident is never included in the many adjectives used to describe me. Cute, yes; tiny, of course; interesting (maybe a better world for eccentric), sure. Never positive adjectives on my character. Dom told me to be more assertive and more confident all the time. Even the 6 year old girl told me to "be more sure about what you want". Apparently I am now confident enough. At least at the eastern side of the world.

Why is that so? I claimed to be fairly confident in anything I am doing or tried to do. But more than often when I describe my dreams and ambitions to someone; friends or family, I was immediately given responses that runs along the line of "That only happens in the movies or Things doesn't happen just like that or Do you think its that easy?" Now repeat that about a dozen hundred times and you will start to doubt whatever confidence you have in yourself.

Guess what? Movie plots might be farfetch but stories come from somewhere and most of the time, it was inspired by real life people with real life stories. Sure, it was dramatised for entertainment purposes but it did happen. A thought had bugged me from time to time - Why is there no middle ground in life? I used to led a rather peaceful life and had been dreaming for some extra "oomph" in my life only to had my life turned upside down by the so-called "drama". Which one do you want more?

I chose to stick with the topsy-turvy life for now while I am young and strong enough to handle that shit. That helped me built confidence, be more assertive and just plain do not afraid to ask for what I want in life. It might be farfetch, it might be crazy. But I am my own living proof that even though sometimes things doesn't work out, sometimes things does, often in a most unpredictable way, and sometimes all I need is a little (I mean A LOT) patience.

10 Jun 2014

Take my word for it

Learn to live, then learn to laugh before you learn to love.
Not many do, they just like to think they do. 

To Live
Is not to let any fear, any reason or any excuse or any doubt hinder from what you really want to do. 
It may not be the easiest or the most pleasant way to achieve, it is the most meaningful way.

To Laugh
The ability to find the good out of everything and laugh about it.
The same old cliché: Everything happened for a reason. I call it Blessing in Disguise.

To Love
Find passion in whatever you do. 

Say what you mean, mean what you say.
I am guilty of not doing that to almost everyone in the past. Witnessing that being done to me first hand changed my mind. 

I say what I mean; never just to please or to defile.

1 Jun 2014

Berlin, You stole what's left of my heart!


I never thought I would love you the way I do. After deciding that giving my precious heart to a city is perhaps a better idea than giving it to a human being, London had completely stole a better part of my heart. But I bumped Amsterdam to 4th place after I paid you a visit. You are like tartar / Mettbrötchen (raw minced beef on bread roll). I didn't know what I missed until I tried it. One serving is never enough, and the more I am "denied", the more addicted I am to you.

You are so full of flavour. You have the charm of a mature man and the energy of a young man barely out of his teenagehood. While London is the steady mature gentleman that I love, I am a young girl afterall, occasionally looking for excitement that London could not provide. And a self-proclaimed French girl, your French side is just the cherry on top of that delicious cake.

Taking Berlin in is just like having a slice of cheesecake with Gin & Tonic (Gosh, I love G&T); the thick creamy goodness resemble the history and G&T is zesty refreshing, just like the artsy fartsy side of Berlin.

One might think of you as the hipster haven. True, you are slightly too hipster for my liking. No help that for the entire 3 days I stayed at the marvelous Generator Berlin Mitte, wonderfully hipster and wonderfully energetic not to mention smack in the middle of party central. But if you take in all the history going back to World War I then World War II, Berlin is not as young as one perceived. Heck, it is older than my own country.

As a child growing up in a relatively young country, I did not have the luxury or the time to read up on World Wars in a wider scale. Generally history lessons are country-focused and as the first born of a Royal Malaysian Air Force Captain, I was exposed to quite some military stories. It wasn't as interested or as gruesome as some war stories but it was enough to get me interested in the nitty gritty details of wars. Everyone has their side of the story and Berlin, you are no exception.

You have your dark military past and your very colourful future. I fell in love with this marvelous combination because just like life, you are a mixture of important, yet often forgotten, past and bright, promising future. And I fell in love with you, exactly for that reason.