Written while Drunk on Thoughts

29 Nov 2013

To own a time turner

If you are given an opportunity to turn back time, do you want to?

How many times had you heard people saying this "If only I could turn back time."

I am a social scientist, so naturally I have 2 answers. Yes and No.

The NO
I was afraid of a lot of things growing up, mainly because my mother aren't exactly the adventurous type and people around me are protective and never push me to the edge. I was afraid that I might got myself into trouble for doing something, so I always chose not to. I was never happy about my own body and I was never comfortable in my own skin.

Sure enough, every now and then, I still feel the same but I am not the meek, shy introvert anymore. I try everything even though I sometimes don't feel comfortable doing, I make a point of trying before deciding. Shy of anything illegal, I tried quite a great deal of "things", be it morally correct or not. Though I am not proud of some things I've done, I accept it and move on. Hey, at least I tried it, no? I never had to ask myself what if I don't. There is also a saying "You never live life until you got yourself into trouble and your heart broken."

Everyone has something they regret of, something they wish they had not done or something that they could have done differently. I think up until now, I only have one thing that I would do differently if I could turn back time. That is to handle things like an adult rather than like a child. I would have call it quit the correct way, even though it hurts, it doesn't hurt that much. Its a route I wished I had taken instead of the one I took.

Thats the only thing that I would do differently. Even though I never been through any hardship, I am glad that I was the meek, shy introvert and I am glad I saw a way out and became someone quite different than what I was.

So, if you are given an opportunity to turn back time, would you change anything or you are happy with what you've done no matter how shameful or embarrassed you are, because its a way of life?

26 Nov 2013

Is giving up a cowardly choice?

Life is a summation of decisions or as my friend pointed out in mathematical terms (Life = Σ Decisions). It is a string of decisions made by someone that make up his / her life. There could be billions of possibilities that the particular life would turn out differently because of one single change in those decisions.

As a person who believe that if I am persistent enough, good things will eventually come to me, giving up is never an option. Because it is deemed cowardly and not acceptable. Suck it up and soldier on is the only way to go.

But every now and then, everyone must have feel like that:


Sometimes a little less frustrated and a lot more disappointed.

But then again, this will come back and haunt us.

She made giving up seem like an easy way out. But WHAT IF it leads no where even after one had been trying and trying. Wouldn't that just waste his / her time? With this question comes another question: WHAT IF it does lead to something wonderful? Perhaps not in the near future but there might be a chance there will be a pot of gold waiting at the end of the rainbow?

I recently met a woman, she is a young mother of 4. She could tell what is troubling me within 5 minutes of meeting me and the horrifying thing is she is right. She offered to tell me my future but I told her I would like to find out myself even though that might eliminate the WHAT IF. *Don't want the "Anakin-Amidala" to happen again*. Uncertainty might be fun, it might be painful but it is also precisely what life is.

I don't think giving up is a cowardly choice, somethings are meant to be given up so that better things could fall in place. But somethings are not. How do you know which to give up and which not to? I have absolutely no idea. It wouldn't be fun if I do.

21 Nov 2013

Still alive

Oh dear.... I've abandoned this space for a month. I wasn't particularly busy but a lot had happened, I learnt so much in the past 6 months than I had the past 23 years in my life.

Life had been rather mundane with most weekdays being very "routine" but just when I was about to sit down on the weekends to dread about how mundane it will be again in the forthcoming week, I got pulled away from the comfy couch, forced to put on "going out" clothes and actually go out.

Not that I am complaining but the weekends always made me forget about how routine the weekdays are. Weekends are always spontaneous, unplanned and full of surprises!!!! It was always always fun, so fun that I forgot the existence of my phone and no picture was taken during those events.

Last week I was invited to my former flatmate and another friend's birthday party at Greenwich. The view is so wonderfully pretty, we were dining at a restaurant by the dock overlooking the river. If the weather is slightly warmer, it will be perfect. But the highlight of the night is the look of my friend's face when I handed him his orange gift.

Somehow the temperature deciding to give us abit of surprise and having a bit of fun with us. The temperature went from 9/10 degree celsius to 0/1 degree celsius in a day! Even though its nothing like Turkey which my friend told me that they have snow during October, but I am not loving this weather.
It seems like Summer have completely wiped my memory of previous months' weather clean. I don't remember it being this cold. But of course, the one perk of being in the cold, its more romantic when taking strolls in the middle of the night. *wink* That is until rain decided that its not cold enough.

Somehow with all these cold, I feel warmer inside (Maybe this is why I feel so much colder now).

Hope this very short and concise post satisfy your craving of me for a while.