I was raised a rather organised person. I still am organised but only if I have to be. Cousin was right, the older you get, the less you freak out about matters that had yet to be done. Not a very desirable attribute I know.
As most of you know that things hasn't been so well for me for a while now. I am a hopeless romantic that gave up on love. Trying to dive in work doesn't really help because somehow the lingering feeling will always be there. I am sure a lot of you will get what I meant. But recently, I've met people that taught me that there is more to life. More to the problems I am having now. To some extent, I started picking up drinking (only slightly) but the entire experience make me view life in another perspective (under influence perhaps).
I am still demanding, I am still rather controlling. I still know what I don't want but I know what I want more clearly now. I care about what people thinks much less and try very much to live in this very moment rather than looking into an uncertain future. I still loathe uncertainty though.
So, I picked myself up for good and brushed myself off and do things I had been avoiding for a while now. Getting rid of people and matters that had not been helping my self-esteem and regain strength that to do things I had previously not. Not cool I know. Perhaps to a lot of you, it wasn't such a big deal but to me, it was. My heart churns(?) every single time I see things that I am not prepared to see. Now, I don't give much of a thought when I see those things. So I went ahead and wish the former boyfriend Happy Birthday, I accepted friend request from people that I previously hoped that I would never have see for the rest of my life.
I would like to pat myself on the head for unlocking another achievement in life. Take in what's positive and don't give a damn about whats negative. Thats what life should be no?
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