Chinese New Year Update

Hello!! Happy Chinese New Year to all my Chinese / non-Chinese friend. I just want to update you on me, I am quite busy with mid-terms coming up and a lot of social events to attend! I am actually excited about Chinese New Year this once. I will be having reunion dinner with my cousin in a few hours time and I've invited my non-Chinese friend to tag along, this is the first time she will experience all these.

And there are parades and performance tomorrow, I might be going to one or two of them. I will update when I have the time after the parades and performance. This is the first time I "celebrate" Chinese New Year in London, I think it will be more fun here than back home. Its most importantly, cold and relative-free. The 2 things I dread the most during Chinese New Year. I would be dreading even more when relative start asking questions about whether I had a life partner I wanted to grow old with. Gimme a break, I am 23 years old, I am allowed to diversify while I can. =p Let the less fun counter party settle for the familiar face. I am going for the hot Italians. Hehehehe....

Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year again! 新年快乐！！！

Probably the most inappropriate thing I had to say

This is a wordy post, skip if you like only pictures. Apparently Nuffnang ads didn't work on Microsoft platform, it works well on my computer though, I will try to get it fix.

Wednesday is the most tiring day in my week. I have classes from 9 to 9 with 2 breaks in between. I had my fair share of working from 8 to 10pm but you know when you are sitting there listening. Its just not the same. Absorbing info are much much tiring. Hahaha. Anyway on the side note. I have 2 things to share.

First and foremost, this is probably the most inappropriate thing i have to say and I would just say it once, at least officially. I can never stop gushing it to my friends. My teaching assistants are hot! Who knew the field of academia can be hot. When i say hot, i meant hunky-abit muscular-with a bit of facial hair kind of hot. Exactly my kind of hot. Hahahaha. Really, everything is modernised nowadays. Gone are the days that lecturers are middle age man that looks like Einstein because they are just too smart to bother and they wear jumpers all the time.

My lecturer dressed smartly, suits, waistcoat and all. Partly because he was working in addition to his teaching job. Also partly because he is so young. My friend's first impression of him is "wow, our lecturer has muscles!" Lol. I won't post any pictures due to very obvious reasons but i could show u if you want to, as i really thing this is really inappropriate. :)

Back to teaching assistants, most of them, i dare say 9.5 out of 10 are italians. I had 2 teaching assistants last semester. Italians. I have more than 2 teaching assistants because they teach different topics in the same subject, all italians. :) but i am not complaining, they are cute. That makes the subject interesting. Well partly anyway. Yes their pictures are available online too. :)

The second thing I wanted to put into writing is how much respect I have for some people. Despite on what they went through, they are still so strong. I used to think that I would paddle through sticky circumstances like this, but on a second thought, I would have thought of many ways not to. I just am not that strong that I would want myself to think. To put things into perspective, I think this is my second resolution this year, try not to be influenced by people THAT easily. What I do now is to avoid these people at all cost. My principal is "don't ask, don't tell" and "I'd rather be ignorant than knowing the painful truth" as well as "Ignorant is bliss". Of course, these works till a certain extent.

So, right now, I would gradually teach myself to take in negative feedback or "bad news" (not necessarily bad but things that would get me upset when I heard/know about it).

Besides these, I would like to wish all my friends Happy Chinese New Year, no matter where you are!! I received bak gua from my mother and decided that its too precious to share with my cousin. =p And we decided to have dinner in Chinatown on the eve, so good luck to us finding a place as well as squeezing through mountains and sea of humans. Hahaha. Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year! I don't care about chinese superstition, this is MY year - the year of SNAKE, trust me year of dragon are overhype, I grew up among them (hehe, sorry Eugene) and most importantly, I WILL RULE THIS YEAR!

Ok, I have to go pay attention on my teaching assistant now. =)

Pretty Little Liars

Ok, recently I got myself hooked onto Pretty Little Liars and fell in love with Troian Bellisario, she look so special, according to wiki, She is of African-American, English, Italian, and Serbian descent. I But I think she looks abit Asian, like Rumi Neely, a famous fashion blogger from US.

Left: Rumi Neely, Right: Troian Bellisario

Source: The Coveteur

Source: http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/troian-bellisario/images/19940678/title/troian-bellisario-photo

Rumi Neely is Japanese, Dutch and Scottish. Just my point to say that she is pretty.

Anyway, off topic: I just wanted to share the song I heard from the series, Andrew Belle's In My Veins. Its a bit emo though but I sure like it.

Here's a link to the song, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Andrew Belle - In My Veins

New Year, New Head with a theatre show

1 February 2013

I had wanted to cut my hair for a while now as I got sick of long hair. I am always the kind of person that would change dramatically because that would gives the freshest look. And since hair would grow back eventually, I wouldn't mind cutting my hair off just like that.

What makes this so special is, this is my first time cutting and dyeing my hair in London. Most people might find it a shock but I usually cut my hair for RM 12 (£2.5) and had been dyeing my hair for less than £20 professionally. Yes, it is that cheap. I had been to the salon 3 times in my life and this is the third.

Yes, so paying an amount above £25 would be consider expensive for me. Like all my haircuts, it was rather impromptu. I didn't want the time to think that what if I miss my long hair or I wanted something else. I like being "there, you are there, no turning back". Of course, getting a hair cut isn't that serious. I still could say no if I wanted. This salon I went to is an Asian salon, I have had haircuts by non-asian before, it just doesn't work for me. So, I am glad to say they did a good job. Anyway, here are some in progress and after picture.

I touched up my roots and cut off about 3 inches of layers, I wanted the haircut like my sister's. And so far, I am loving it. Under light, it looks like there are some purple (which is quite obvious in the picture below, though I did not have any purple from this time, only from 6 mths ago, I guess the new color brough the purple out under the right lighting), red and black.

Under sunlight, it looks quite red, not fiery red but quite a substantial amount of red.

This was from instagram if you haven't already know.

Just in time for CNY. Lol, I am never the person that cut my hair for CNY. I just need a change in my hair, thats it. Later that night, we went for a theatre show - The Shogun and the English Samurai at the Sadler's Wells Theatre, Islington, London. Its half Japanese, half English. So when the actors speak Japanese, I had to read the subtitles above.

This is the only few pictures I took as we are not allowed to take pictures. There are alot of people, mainly Japanese women with their non-Japanese partners.

A happy cousin after the show. It was better than I expected. Well, though I don't think I had the mind to watch theatre often. I had to prepare for it. Its quite an event for me, I can't just go spontaneously, it had a more serious tone compared to a movie. And I learnt something new, if the audience clapped long enough, the cast will come out again and again to thank (bow) you. It is an interesting yet goose bump inducing fact, don't you think? It was so grand, so "wow, I could never do that in my entire life". It is still on at Sadler's Wells, if you want some history, some humour and a very special theatre (English speaking and Japanese speaking), I am sure you will enjoy it.

This is part one of my "in London, nothing is too weird" collection.

I took this picture because the platform is double the size the usual platform, I think its because there usually are a lot of people travelling via this station.

This concludes my first and probably last haircut in London and my first non-english speaking (completely) and second experience watching theatre show. I am going to watch the famous 4/5 theatre show next, any companions?

"Sort of" Bucket List

A little more than a year ago, when things gets bad, I started changing a lot in my life. Perspectives mainly. I tried to compile a list of things that I would never do, more precisely, the old me wouldn't do.

1. I decided to get a tattoo, a thought that was with me for years but didn't get around doing it (also mainly due to the former love doesn't like tattoo-ed girl, I would never let anyone get into my way anymore, I had the tattoo for more than a year and everyday its like discovering something new). Am thinking of getting a new one soon but it was so expensive in London.

2. I decided to change myself a little bit and how I see life. I decided to get out of my way to do things that I weren't comfortable in doing.

3. I decided to get an Iphone even though I used to dislike it to the guts and don't think I will ever get one, even though I am a Macbook fan girl. I think things change when life decided to change.

4. I hated going out till late at night as I prefer to chillax at home, nowadays, you would be lucky to find me sitting at home in the evening, chilling.

5. I started going out more with different people, even though inside i was screaming in protest, I still make myself go. I said yes to all invitations (valid ones, of course, not some random dodgy guy). If you know the old me, I wouldn't do that. Am I right, Master? Its all because of my high dependency on him.

During New Year, my dad texted me a long list of wishes and advises that include this particular one that i like "Even if you don't feel like it, get dress, show up, the best has yet to come." Well, that was so right. Naturally when I saw this stem cell donation drive, I didn't think twice to sign up for it. I was horrified with needles and tubes. I saw how it was done on my mother and I freaked out on how high the blood pressure is when you extract blood. But seeing this is one of the things I wasn't comfortable doing, I am going to give it a try. I do not know whether I would be a match but at least I decided to do something about it.

Perhaps donating blood could be a yearly thing that I do and also sign up to be an organ donor (one thing I always wants to do) when I die. Did anyone one where I can find information on this in Malaysia?

6. I never really liked photography, I believe that we should savour the moment rather than busy snapping pictures for memories. The memories that was captured in the mind and heart counts more than the memories on photo paper. Pictures wouldn't be able to capture how you feel about the place there and then. Memories might fade but the feeling, it will always be there. First kiss, I forgot how it was but I remember how it feels like - weird and wrong. Hahahaha, messy. My point being, it will always be there. The feeling at that moment, it was irreplaceable and unlikely to be forgotten for life.

But now, I had the responsibility to share my life with everyone that cares about me. So I picked up a little bit of photography using my Iphone. And I got some really nice comments from my Instagram, my followers increased and I got a little recognition from the school paper! I shall go steal a few copies and show it to you guys. But hey, my main point of all this is, if I didn't venture to this area, I will never had gotten that. Sometimes its a complete waste of time but sometimes, the time wasted isn't all for nothing.

So perhaps it was right of him to tell me that even if I don't see us together in the future, it doesn't mean its not worth the time. Sometimes the journey is the destination.

Lets see, I was picking out things that I was never comfortable doing and try to strike it off my list one by one. Whats next on the list?

International Night, a reply and a random building in London

*To start off, I apologise for not realising there is a comment on my post on Vanilla. I would like to reply to the comment and had change the settings on my blogger so that I would receive a notification on comments. =) I like the comment, its from a perspective that I never thought of. It is due to the high demand on Vanilla that leads to it being the most basic and simple taste and scent in the world? It sounded quite ironic isn't it? So, is it better to get all the attention and not being special or being unique while remaining quite unknown? But yet again, does being mainstream mean being simple or plain?*

Yesterday was the most fun I had in years. We had this International Night planned, although not much people showed up, I still had a good time. The International Night stayed true to its name, there are only 1 country repetition. We have friends from Bahrain, Pakistan, Norway, Turkey, Brazil, Russia, Indonesia, Malaysia (ME!) and Italy (Pizza). How international was it? Hahaha. Without the restriction on someone checking up on me and some help from alcohol, I realised that I am actually quite capable of having a good fun. Hahaha. I am glad that I did attend even though I had to rush from one end to another end of central London.

I had so much fun that the fun continued in my dream. The dream was about me getting another tattoo, without any planning, I just go forward and tell the tattoo artist I wanted a tattoo, but what and where, I don't know. Then I let him draw all over me to decide where I want it to be. I was enjoying myself in the dream, with a few friends of mine and a few friend of his.

I ended up getting a tattoo around the rib area. A huge one. I am sad when I woke up and realised that it was just a dream. Imagine getting a tattoo without feeling the pain of needles. LOL. This is the interpretation from www.dreammoods.com : To dream that you have tattoos represent your sense of individuality and the desire to stand out in a crowd. You want to be unique and different from everybody else, particularly if you do not have any tattoos in real life. Consider also what the tattoo is and what significance it has in your life. It may represent something that has left a lasting impression on you. Alternatively, to dream that you have a tattoo suggests that a waking situation or decision is having a much longer lasting effect that you had expected. "

This tattoo dream came after I decided to put myself out there and mix around more, I'll take it as a good sign. =)

Pity that I was busy socializing and did not have a lot of pictures. But I shall post whatever I have.

Andres (Red), Hiran (leather jacket), Ipek (the only girl) and Paulo (the blur).

And Taha in blue, I like how striking his top is, compared to the pool table.

Aren't pizza the easiest and ultimate choices when everyone is either too lazy or too busy? Valentina made an apple cinnamon cake which is so good that before I could reach for pictures, it was all gone.

Thats Valentina, she made a wicked apple cinnamon cake, I never really like cinnamon but I had 2 slices! and Nurul with her back facing the camera.

There were others (Shaami, apologies if im wrong, and some other friends of Hiran) but unfortunately not captured in my pictures, perhaps you can stalk facebook for further pictures? To end the blog, can someone tell me what does the building below resembles? I think it resembles a bullet. Taha thinks it looks like a cucumber. =.= I am looking for the most creative answer. LOL.

Source: http://blog.marketing-soc.org.uk/tag/the-gherkin/

Clearing my mind

*If u are sick of me ranting nonsense, just skip this post. I am just clearing my mind.*

I apologise for the constant pinning on a past love. The letter should be an end to everything but here i was writing about him again. I have a thousand things to said and a million things to write but it will all revolve around my reasoning for what I did. I guess i am overcompensating the guilt i felt by trying to reason with myself that i shouldn't be thinking too much and feeling too bad. I also overcompensate by patting myself on the head that i had the right feeling all these while. Of course, it doesn't help alot if u think about it. But i felt better after rambling.

I don't really know whether i knew him longer or she does. I met him when i was a child, 9 / 10 years old. He was a neighbour of a friend's that i used to spend all my time with. We even took the same tuition where he begged to share my answers with him. Hahaha. Little did i know that i would grow up to court him for a substantial amount of years of my life and even less so that i would left him with a scar of betrayal and distrustness (if there is such a word).

I always knew this girl - a girl that he was and apparently still is close with. She is nice but that is all i knew about her. She is quite different from me, she adds me as a friend immediately after knowing me. She invited me to their gathering with other old friends. She is nice. Ditto. Part of me is really glad that she is the new girl. I knew he is in good hands.

But somehow the vindictive part of me thinks that there might be something between them all these while. And i am someone that came between them for 5 years. He should be with her from the start. Perhaps we are acquainted much earlier on but its always not meant to be. You know, kind of like Lucas and Brooke? I am Brooke and she is Peyton. Brooke tried to hang on to what they had between them for as long as she could before she realised she doesn't picture growing old with Lucas. If i were to tell u i am fine with this, i would be lying big time. Everyone that went through this will tell u that there will somehow be something somewhere, especially when you are the bad guy that wrecked your relationship, no matter how fucked up it was.

I talked to my dad and a mutual friend of him and mine. We spent hours exchanging messages and I am really glad that he gave me some peace of mind by telling me that it takes 2 to tango, there are something in him that caused it. Being a good friend, he too disagree with what I did and told me I was childish. But the happiest thing I got from talking to him is, he could see I am growing up. The way I see things and the way I talk. And most importantly, I would now admit my own wrong. I recalled that I never will. Also, he reminded me that its that mistake that took me to where I am right now and if I like this version of me better, even a horrible thing could be a blessing in disguise.

As for my dad, I finally took the courage to tell him after more than a year. I guess I didn't think that its his business in knowing anyway. But truth be told, I felt so much better after I told him. At the very least he would stop asking me about him. And he told me that this is life, its in the past and no more tears. And as a bonus, I got to learn abit about his past, past girlfriends that is. Hehehe....

In risk of sounding like a bitter and smaller person, whenever I thought of the good times, I thought of the one time he told me that there are problems in our relationship. He never quite trust me from the beginning and I was being a rebel (and confirmed by my friend), so I subconsciously did the mistake to prove him right. So, yes. Here lies the problem. He could have trust me more and I could have communicate to him in a better way i.e. talking it off rather than doing what I did. And personally, I think that the relationship ran its course years ago. Neither him nor me have the courage to end it, it fits well into my plan and i supposed it fits into his plan as well. "Just because it fits well into my plan, it doesn't necessarily mean its right me." In some way, I am glad that this came early, if i were to delay further, i would have lost even more. I needed him for some conveniences (i cant drive myself around and i like to depend on people), so there comes to a time that i would learnt how to drive and open up doors of opportunities. There goes my thoughts. I no longer blame myself and felt guilty nor i am apologising and feeling sorry to him anymore as what my friend said it takes two to tango. I may be at fault here but i am not the only one.

So, ya. Thats my ranting for now. I treat this blog as a friend to talk to as i cant constantly bug my good friends. I have no intention nor do i have the thought of wishing them to be bad. When i said that i am happy for him n her, its from deep down of my heart, sincerely. She is a nice girl and i have no reason to hate her. I dont have the right to hate or dislike him.

Somethings happened for a reason. Right now i have to learn to completely let go.... completely.... I once heard a chinese way of speaking “人生嘛，不是得到，就是学到。就算得不到，还是有学到。“ Translation (loosely): Life is all about gaining and learning, if you end up not gaining (losing), you will still got some learning.

To be honest, I wanted him to see all this, to see how much was learnt and how much growth, to see that it was a blessing, not a suffering. =) Be proud of your padawan, Master. And also, please let me meet a cute guy in the near future. I don't ask for much, just one that find me interesting will do.