Vivre

La vie est pleine de petit surprises.

Life is full of small surprises.

It may not be a permanent one but its always a pleasant one. Enjoy life, appreciate what you have, be happy. 

Confidence with a sprinkle of imagination

The differences between the Western and the Eastern is stark. Actually, the variations are a world different and you don't have to go too far as to compare the East and the West. I would like to think I have both side of the world in me. I am an Anglicised Malaysian Chinese girl who learned English by watching Friends. I am NOT ashamed that I am made up of this mix, where some ingredients were mixed in later than others. No one is made up of only ONE culture, not in the 21st century. But lets face it, one wouldn't stray too far from what he was brought up with. No matter how hard he tried and why would he? Bear in mind everyone embrace their culture in a different way.

I am proud of my heritage and my culture but I love to learn about and from new cultures. Whats odd and weird with our culture might be completely acceptable or even a norm in other culture. The joy of learning a new language just cause. Try it. La vie est plein de petit bonheurs.

A friend once summed it up very well. Eastern culture are more passive compared to Western culture. That is why people from the western side of the world seems much more confident. I was in Singapore once ordering a Sangria to match the glorious hot weather. When the waiter was just about to serve me the drink, he hesitated about his judgement on my age. Now everyone that knows me know I look slightly younger than I am suppose to be. Mainly due to my "petite" frame. I "confidently" told him I am not underage and he paid me the first compliment I got in the department - He said I am confident.

Again, if you know me, confident is never included in the many adjectives used to describe me. Cute, yes; tiny, of course; interesting (maybe a better world for eccentric), sure. Never positive adjectives on my character. Dom told me to be more assertive and more confident all the time. Even the 6 year old girl told me to "be more sure about what you want". Apparently I am now confident enough. At least at the eastern side of the world.

Why is that so? I claimed to be fairly confident in anything I am doing or tried to do. But more than often when I describe my dreams and ambitions to someone; friends or family, I was immediately given responses that runs along the line of "That only happens in the movies or Things doesn't happen just like that or Do you think its that easy?" Now repeat that about a dozen hundred times and you will start to doubt whatever confidence you have in yourself.

Guess what? Movie plots might be farfetch but stories come from somewhere and most of the time, it was inspired by real life people with real life stories. Sure, it was dramatised for entertainment purposes but it did happen. A thought had bugged me from time to time - Why is there no middle ground in life? I used to led a rather peaceful life and had been dreaming for some extra "oomph" in my life only to had my life turned upside down by the so-called "drama". Which one do you want more?

I chose to stick with the topsy-turvy life for now while I am young and strong enough to handle that shit. That helped me built confidence, be more assertive and just plain do not afraid to ask for what I want in life. It might be farfetch, it might be crazy. But I am my own living proof that even though sometimes things doesn't work out, sometimes things does, often in a most unpredictable way, and sometimes all I need is a little (I mean A LOT) patience.

Take my word for it

Learn to live, then learn to laugh before you learn to love.

Not many do, they just like to think they do. 

To Live

Is not to let any fear, any reason or any excuse or any doubt hinder from what you really want to do. 

It may not be the easiest or the most pleasant way to achieve, it is the most meaningful way.

To Laugh

The ability to find the good out of everything and laugh about it.

The same old cliché: Everything happened for a reason. I call it Blessing in Disguise.

To Love

Find passion in whatever you do. 

Say what you mean, mean what you say.

I am guilty of not doing that to almost everyone in the past. Witnessing that being done to me first hand changed my mind. 

Now,

I say what I mean; never just to please or to defile.

Berlin, You stole what's left of my heart!

Dear BERLIN,

I never thought I would love you the way I do. After deciding that giving my precious heart to a city is perhaps a better idea than giving it to a human being, London had completely stole a better part of my heart. But I bumped Amsterdam to 4th place after I paid you a visit. You are like tartar / Mettbrötchen (raw minced beef on bread roll). I didn't know what I missed until I tried it. One serving is never enough, and the more I am "denied", the more addicted I am to you.

You are so full of flavour. You have the charm of a mature man and the energy of a young man barely out of his teenagehood. While London is the steady mature gentleman that I love, I am a young girl afterall, occasionally looking for excitement that London could not provide. And a self-proclaimed French girl, your French side is just the cherry on top of that delicious cake.

Taking Berlin in is just like having a slice of cheesecake with Gin & Tonic (Gosh, I love G&T); the thick creamy goodness resemble the history and G&T is zesty refreshing, just like the artsy fartsy side of Berlin.

One might think of you as the hipster haven. True, you are slightly too hipster for my liking. No help that for the entire 3 days I stayed at the marvelous Generator Berlin Mitte, wonderfully hipster and wonderfully energetic not to mention smack in the middle of party central. But if you take in all the history going back to World War I then World War II, Berlin is not as young as one perceived. Heck, it is older than my own country.

As a child growing up in a relatively young country, I did not have the luxury or the time to read up on World Wars in a wider scale. Generally history lessons are country-focused and as the first born of a Royal Malaysian Air Force Captain, I was exposed to quite some military stories. It wasn't as interested or as gruesome as some war stories but it was enough to get me interested in the nitty gritty details of wars. Everyone has their side of the story and Berlin, you are no exception.

You have your dark military past and your very colourful future. I fell in love with this marvelous combination because just like life, you are a mixture of important, yet often forgotten, past and bright, promising future. And I fell in love with you, exactly for that reason.

Fellow Wanderer

FELLOW WANDERER



Place I call home.
I found love, lost it and eventually found it again.
Funny how people you know for a year managed to make you feel more loved than someone that was in your life longer. 

We are verbal, we are physical.
Its true that love shouldn't come from the mouth.
It should come from actions. 
It comes from sitting next to you in your temporary home.
It comes from sitting opposite you on the happiness train.

The tears, the pain and the loneliness.
No we are not glamorous.
Nor are we any luckier. 

We are all humans.
Who left the comfort of home and wander.
It takes courage and patience. 

We fell, we cried, we whined.
But we always managed to learn,
the heart-wrenching way.

Its as if we are addicted.
Addicted to life lessons.


-Melissa

I would like to dedicate this poem to my fellow wanderer, the Splendid Wanderer. 

Does age matter?

All my "relationships", I had always always been the younger one. Loosely translate to being the more immature one. It ranges from months to years. I used to think I am mature enough to handle the relationship only to realise I am not as mature as I would like to be.

Just about 2 months ago I met a younger person. He is not normally in my age horizon, more of my sister's. I must admit and apologise for being a person that is quick to judge. I see a person as young as my sister, immediately I came to conclusion that he is too young and a kid. I rarely associate myself with someone my own age, let alone someone younger. My bad.

An absolute sweetheart and had been with me through my breakdowns, confusion, good days and extremely bad moments. I am incredibly grateful that someone are willing to listen and is pleasantly surprise that it is him. Who knows someone that bears the Italian version name of the very same one that broke my heart is helping me heal what is remaining. Humans put on a mask that only show a tiny portion of their true self as self-defense. With him, I didn't. Perhaps he is just really good in convincing me that he is not a jerk.

With him being mature beyond his age, my previous perception about younger people changed forever. But that doesn't generalise all younger (than me) people. Same goes to people that are older. Maturity doesn't comes with age. It comes with experience.

I wanted to dedicate this post to you, my dear sweet friend. You are dearly missed. We will meet again in the near future.


Yours,
Melissa

What is LOVE - Part II

7 months ago I wrote about what I considered LOVE. That was a long time ago because things changed. When I said things, I meant THINGS. I fell out of love, I fell in love, repeated the process again, met new people that showed me love is more than just "love".

What I considered love is still valid for me and my definition of it expands to a whole new level. Why restrict yourself to one definition?

Love is:

• When She still cries when she says goodbye, even though that was the umpteenth time.

• When a kid made sure you got on the seesaw with him minutes before you leave and took away your shoes so that you can't leave.

• When a kid decided to like you. Kids are the most authentic human being, no diplomacy, no politeness. They either like you or not.

• When someone calls you bodoh (Malay for stupid) for certain actions but secretly like you for that. 

• When someone made sure you stay true to your feelings even though he knows it will make you uncomfortable and upset. Then will stay there with you for the entire duration of your break down.

• When someone told you that both of you will proceed of being in each other's lives for the rest of it. Contract void when one dies.

• When they are always there no matter how far or how long you had wandered off.

• When someone decided to take you as you are. All your quirks and all your exploitable kindness.

What is love to you? Is it conditional or unconditional? Does love makes you a scarier or more lovable person?