Written while Drunk on Thoughts

19 Sep 2013

Falling in Love

Few months ago, I was asked this question: "How do you know when you are in love?" At that moment, I dug deep in my brain and in my heart, first searching for my definition of love then attempt to answer the question in the most accurate and concise manner. All I got is "Erm...I don't know....maybe...erm....you just know. I don't know, please don't ask me that question."

Obviously, my friend looked at me with a blank, confused face. But I know what was in her mind - "And you claimed to be an expert in love. Pftt!!"

Movies always tell us that "Love" is something you give out unconditionally, you don't have a reason as to why you are doing it, you just do. Movies also tell us that "Falling in love" is an act that you do subconsciously. There is a conflict there. If you do it without knowing consciously, how do you know you have done it?

Yesterday, the same friend sent me this clip from Before Sunset and along with the scene she sent me a written version of what the heroine Celine said in the movie.


Celine: You know I'm happy you are saying that, I mean I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like... (snap her fingers) ...this! You know. People just have an affair or even entire relationships. They break up and they forget! They move on like they would have changed a brand of Cereals! I feel I was never able to forget anyone I've been with. Because each person have their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What is lost is lost. Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me. I never really recover. That's why I'm very careful with getting involved because it hurts me too much... or even getting laid, I actually don't do that. I will miss of the person the most mundane things. Like I'm obsessed with little things. Maybe I'm crazy... When I was a little girl, my mom told me that I was always late to school. One day she followed me to see why. I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees and rolling on the sidewalk, or ants crossing the road, the way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk. Little things. I think it's the same with people. I see in them little details, so specific to each of them, that move me, that I miss, and will always miss. You can never replace anyone because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details.

So, falling in love is noticing specific details of someone? If you ask 10 people the question what is Love, you will probably get at least 10 different versions of answer. Some will tell you its unconditionally, while others disagree. Some will tell you its something magical, while others will tell you its logical. Some will say "Love is unlimited" while others will tell you "I don't believe in Love".

Frankly, I still don't have the "correct" answer yet because the feeling that I thought was "in love" turns out to be "confused". But for now, my answer is "Being in love is feeling content and happy with your current situation with that someone" Be its with family or with a stranger that could potentially be your family, if you are content and happy with him or her or it, you are in love.

No comments :

Post a Comment