Written while Drunk on Thoughts

9 Jan 2014

Careful of what you wish for

As Oscar Wilde said "When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers". To agree or not is entirely up to each individual. I personally experienced this countless time.

I onced wished that I had the chance to meet more people and dated more people before I would settle down with "The One". I got my wish, but I wasn't without sorrows and sadness. "Prayers" answered, I did felt happier because the relationship was a restriction from the start. But the happiness does not comes from the fact that I managed to date more people.

Then recently on a similar matter, a long term as well as a short term wish came true. To realise that wish had more strings attached to it than strands of hair on a human head. With every tug, it hurts down to the core.

So does getting your wish really is a miracle or punishment? Past experience taught me that getting what you wished for doesn't make me happier. More than often you heard people said that it was how they got the wish that is what they truly enjoyed.

I attached my happiness to a certain goal, rather than enjoying the process, I was obsessed with only reaching the goal and as everyone is familiar, if the goal reached was not expected or if the goal is not reached at all. We became sad and wished we have instead. Turn to the other side of the coin, will reaching that goal makes you happier?

Due to my cultural heritage, I was educated since I was a child that I will only be happy if I am rich, if I met someone rich and would provide me with whatever material I desire, if I am successful in work even though the area of work is not what I wanted to do. This is the root of the question, why are Asians (Chinese) high achievers (most), because we were educated that if you have good grades in school, you succeed in life and you will one day be rich. So, for all of us, we fought and sweat just to achieve those good grades.

Then after school, we will do just about anything to earn more money, money that eventually went to satisfy material wants. Material wants that stem from the perspective that the more you have, the richer you are; the richer you are, the happier you are. Explained why Chinese from mainland China are seen with the most expensive material they could have. I think this thought was infused in us because my grandfather is afterall a China man.

I am not rich, my family is well off but that has nothing to do with my personal fortune. I understand the little pleasure that I got from buying something new or to receive an extremely expensive gift from my uncle because that is the way I was raised. It made me happy, for a while, then I was indifferent after. Confused with happiness, I kept wanting to buy more material to have the thrill of owning and using a new bag for the first time. This cycle went on and on. I never doubt this way of life. After all, to us Chinese, being able to strive for the best (usually rich / famous) is the way to go.

However, there are always a bright / upside to everything. It kept you motivated and inspired. After all without any goals, human lost its purpose in life, lost its will to wake up every morning. But do not let those goals or wishes determine how you should feel. Regardless of achieving a certain goal or getting what you wished for, remember that the journey is usually more rewarding than the outcome. These rewards may not come in the form of monetary but I assure you, in the process you'll grow, your perspective will change, things that once matter doesn't and things that you deemed as unimportant is what you will hold dear, you'll learn to appreciate more. These rewards are much more than being rich / famous can bring you.

That being said, if richness and fame happened to happen while you are pursuing your goal and enjoying those moments to get there, congratulations, well done and stay humble.

P.S. I still am hoping and working hard to get my one wish come true. For now, I would enjoy how I get there and I will like it when I did get there. Wish me luck!!

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