Written while Drunk on Thoughts

29 Mar 2014

5 Stages of Grief - Stage FOUR: Depression


Depression


Depression.
Persistent sadness.
Lasted for days and weeks.

Living in her very own bubble.
Shutting herself off from the world.
All the emotions in the world: Joy, confusion, happiness, disgust and love.

She was left feeling unmotivated.
Having given up on the world.
Her favourite activity is to sleep the pain away.

She loses out a lot.
Though its one step closer to moving on,
It’s the most difficult baby step to take.

Without knowing all she has to do is to let go.



-Melissa

26 Mar 2014

5 Stages of Grief - Stage THREE: Anger

Anger


Anger,
Ticking time bomb.

Blaming and fingers pointing.
To soothe the soul,
to push the heavy weight of responsibility away.

But instead,
Burdening herself with stressful emotion.
Releasing fury on anything that crossed her path.

She tries to convince herself that pain is an ingredient of maturity,
But can only come up with “is it worth the hype?”

Foe of forgiveness.
She decides that she is not the master of her own heart.
She decided to be angry.



-Melissa

23 Mar 2014

5 Stages of Grief - Stage TWO: Self-Doubt


Self-doubt


Your sudden absence sparks self-doubt.
Desperate to keep everyone,
she doubts her existence.

Imagination runs wild.
“Why does this happen to me?” she said
“Am I the reason why?” she said

Self-doubt is a double-edged sword.
A dash of it helps her to grow,
Taking it excessively will risk self-esteem and confidence.

Too stubborn to realise
She is merely a speck of dust in the universe,
powerless against most incidents.


-Melissa

20 Mar 2014

5 Stages of Grief - Stage ONE: Denial

Denial

A physical and emotional hoarder,
people and feelings are her keepsakes.
But the cycle of life is a cruel matter.

Letting go is a personal torture.
Denial is a sugar-coated hell.
Dismissing the elephant in the room.
A shield that protects her from excruciating pain.

When the shield crumbles and the sugar melts,
Feelings erupt like an active volcano.

Denial,
Destruction disguising as protection.


-Melissa

19 Mar 2014

Concern?

Don't be. I felt that I owed it to concern friends to have this post before I go full-on "emotional" with my poems.

I recently was introduced poetry writing by my Creative Writing tutor and had written quite a few poems ever since. Having previously studied Shakespeare's poems in school, I was put off writing poems solely because of the rigid RULE in writing one. After being exposed to more modern and less "rule-obeyed" poems, I find writing poem much more challenging than stories.

To me, writing poem is trying to convey my message with considerably fewer lines than stories. Putting together words that made the strongest impact and leaving some room for imagination are the most challenging part of it. And of course, the best part of writing poem.

All the poems are not exactly fictional but it does not reflect my current situation. So, concern family, friends and reader, DON'T BE. Its all for creative purposes, no heart was broken in the process.

14 Mar 2014

Empty Promise

Empty promise


You made me a promise 6 full moons ago.
You will never leave, you promised

You kept your promise.
I was the one that made you broke your promise once
By making silly mistakes.

Being the compassionate person that you are
You gave me another chance
"Be all in or get all out"

Even after what I've done, you kept your promise
I knew by then I want you forever.

But when I decided to uphold that sacred promise together with you, you turned my world upside down.
You are sorry that you cant keep your promise to me, 
For you had promised not to leave someone else before me.

Then I understood.
The promise is always empty.
You broke the promise.
Worse!
You never plan to honour the promise. 



-Melissa

28 Feb 2014

Spontaneity

Elite Daily is famous for its lists of reason why or why not to do a certain things. Written for the Generation Y, which are apparently more confused than our parents' generation and need complete strangers to tell us what to do.

Am I a spontaneous person? I ABSOLUTELY HATE HAVING NO PLANS. I wasn't born spontaneous, I wasn't raised to be spontaneous. Growing up, my parents will sit all three of us down on sunday night and made us tell them about our timetable and any plans that we are making. We weren't allowed to have last minute plan. This could be due to the fact that we rely on our parents to drive us around so our plans intertwine with theirs heavily. Spontaneity will pose a huge problem to them.

Of course, this habit rubbed off on me and my sister. We always plan in advance. I have a habit of not accepting last minute invitation. Last minute invitation which is probably 3 days away. I just like to know weeks in advance. I have plans for everything, from daily plans to life plans.

Ahhh..... now this is where I am suppose to tell you there is a turning point. Of course, there is. And I forced myself to be spontaneous. A year on... apart from "Never seen a sunrise", I've done everything on the list. It is not without worries, imagine being somewhere where you shouldn't be and befriending a stranger. I have pretty good record so far in protecting myself. Remember what our parents told us when we were young? "Don't talk to strangers." But a lot of times, even with my safety instinct screams ALERT to me, I still chose to take the leap of faith. I know friends that call me crazy for that. But more than often, the result is SURPRISINGLY PLEASANT and not to mention, FULFILLING. There is a worse scenario but lets not go there.

10 Regrets That Spontaneous People Will Never Have

Never Seen A Sunrise
Spontaneous people will tell their children of the nights they spent in Rio with strangers and new friends, sitting on the beach until the sun came up. They’ve seen the sun rise and fall, the stars ascend and disappear into the glow of daylight. They are no stranger to the movements of the earth, the beauty in the moments. They have experienced parts of life that most people sleep through.

Never Gone Somewhere Without A Map
There’s a thrill in wandering that can’t be found with your nose stuck in a map. Following your intuitions and the beating of your own heart is an important experience to have with yourself. Spontaneous people will never look back at life and wish they had just appreciated where they were, in that moment. They will remember the small details and the streets they would have never walked had they followed a path.

Never Befriended A Stranger
Spontaneous people have friends all over the world. They make friends wherever they go, acquiring portals in all sections of the world. They are not afraid to reach out and touch someone’s life, and let them touch theirs. They are more educated and well-versed with the world and the people who inhabit it than those stuck in their own bubble of friends and family.

Never Fell In Love With Someone Completely Wrong
The pain of a broken heart is always worth the thrill of falling in love. Spontaneous people don’t let the fear of heartbreak deter them from letting someone into their lives. They thrive on moments of passion and true affection. They let love overcome their entire beings, yet know when to walk away from it. They don’t regret past breakups and fleeting hookups, because they do not put the weight of importance on them. They see love as simple and will find it in the most obscure people.

Never Broke Curfew For An Amazing Party
Being wild and reckless is not a crime (unless, of course, it is). Sometimes the best times are the ones that shouldn’t have been. A spontaneous person learns when to break the rules and when it’s worth it. Spontaneous people don’t let societal pressures hold them back, weighing their options only for a few moments, always choosing new experiences over six weeks without a phone.

Never Took Off Without A Plan
Fleeing to the unknown is a thrilling experience that can’t be found in travel guides and travel agents. Spontaneous people listen to their gut and escape to the unknown when it’s time for a new adventure. They’ve hopped on planes and trains, letting a greater force guide them. They will pick days to leave their hotel and find a new town or a new spot to call their own. They don’t stick to schedules or guidelines.

Never Been Somewhere You Shouldn’t
The thrill of spontaneity is no greater than when you find yourself in a previously restricted situation. Whether it’s the apartment of a man or woman you know is bad for you or the adult section of your local Blockbuster, sometimes life is about taking risks and not always following the rules. It’s those who defy their restrictions who learn the truth.

Never Moved To A New City
Spontaneous people understand that there’s nothing as thrilling as moving to a new city and starting anew. There’s something beautiful about getting to know a new place and slowly discovering it as your new home. Life is to be explored, and never leaving the town you were born in is just a waste of all there is around you.

Never Had A Romance In A Foreign Country
There’s nothing more exciting than a relationship that must come to an end. Crossing barriers and finding love in a person with whom you share little cultural similarities and interests is a kind of love that can’t be found in anything else. It’s a raw love, a relationship that’s simpler and truer than anything you will find until you’ve found the one. It’s a relationship based on teaching each other and learning.

Never Made Plans In A Bar
Those plans made in bars, over pints of beer and stale chips are the ones you can never replace. They are the spontaneous decisions you make to fly to Ibiza for three days and spend the rest of your money on a one-way ticket. They are the schemes you hatch and routes you choose for your trip cross country. They are the moments you are most free and uninhibited. They are your desires as you laugh with friends and let the stress of life fade into the frothy foam of your beer.

Now I never travel with an itinerary. Things will pop up. Sometimes its due to the fact that I am lazy but most of the time, I am just following the flow. I talk to strangers, they have a lot a lot to offer. My friend and I onced met a British man who speaks awesome Thai, he was just sitting next to us at the restaurant and we had one of the nicest conversation with a stranger ever. A simple hi from a fellow solo traveller made my trip completely unforgettable and at the same time I made new friends from different cultures and background, gaining inside knowledge and new language skills. A simple leap of faith restored my confidence and self-esteem. Being spontaneous taught me life lessons that no education can prepare me for.

Of course, there are risks in everything. The greater the risk, the greater the outcome. The key is to believe in your guts.

Be spontaneous. You will be surprise with the outcome.

Inspired by:
Regrets that spontaneous people don't have

Since writing this particular post, I've tried to restrain myself from being too spontaneous. Obviously it doesn't work. I don't know how it would be like if I managed to plan better, but I managed to see the sunrise while walking around in my favourite city early early in the morning. The entire sky is purple. I closed my eyes and take it all in. Its the best feeling ever, that is until I walked into the fence.

I am an advocate of picture taking to immortalise the moment. I now do it with my heart. Why? Because the best thing will be remembered, the rest is just to fill in the blanks between great moments.