Written while Drunk on Thoughts

22 Aug 2014

What if?

Credit: http://connie-stillbelieve.blogspot.com/2013/08/georgetown-penang-street-art-mural.html
Heartbreaks are inevitable. It happens everywhere, anywhere, anytime and for various of reasons. Your heart breaks when someone broke it, when you don't get what you really wanted and worked hard for. Your heart breaks when a loved one left you, willingly or not. We are all humans and one serious blessing that humans have is emotion.
My heart breaks when I knew I am separating with a good friend, even though what really separates us are just earth distance and potentially, life.
My heart breaks the most when I know no one is at fault.
My heart breaks when an important and constant element of my life, even for a tiny while, was taken away from me.
My heart breaks when I lose something that wasn't mine at the first place. 
I believe lots of people are no stranger to what I was and am going through. The apparent and cruel uncertain situation that we are in definitely added some much needed mystery in life. There are a much bigger picture to consider and most of the time, humans are haunt by the deadly questions of "What ifs?" The wonderful scenario that only exist in your dream and That ideal life that only come to life when you are not conscious.

Yes, I am an advocate of "you attract what you wanted the most", I had proven myself wrong a dozen of times. But sometimes these said emotion get the better of me and I lost the strength that I had been accumulating to face these uncertainties in seconds.

But I also remember the thousand of times that I was reminded that the Spaghetti Monster has a funny way of sorting things out. The friend you never thought you would see again? You saw him twice in a span of 5 months or He suddenly told you he will be moving to a city near you. The person that was never in your circle of friends and thought you will never come across? Bam! You met her and she became one of your closest friend. The person you thought is going to be family? Nope, just a passerby in your very own story.

I do have my own set of thoughts and opinions. It was drastically different than what it was just a year ago and I am sure it will be different next month. All I can do is try my best to be a better me and hope for the best. The sole reason as to why 2 people would be in the same city in precisely the same time for years but never crossed path did when they happened to be in another city is a simple one: The time is not right. Then when you finally did met and had a great connection just to find out the interaction is a short-lived one? Again, the time might not be right or both of you are just not right for each other and the Spaghetti Monster is trying to spare you a larger pain than the one you are experiencing now.

Its a cliché but EVERYTHING DO HAPPEN FOR A REASON. Most of the time, hindsight and retrospective that have the perfect vision. The reason as to why bad things has to happen to you are actually probably blessing in disguise. And when you finally have something, you learned to appreciate it.

I'd like to think of pain as a mentor, teaching us all the life lessons that we are ought to learn. Because what is a better teacher than heart-wrenching and soul crushing pain? Remember that pain is TEMPORARY but what you learned is PERMANENT. After the lesson, pick up the pieces, stitch it up and continue learning.

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