Ghosts of Christmas past, present and future

A painful Christmas 
2 years ago (2011), a group of friends and I decided to have a road trip for Christmas. I thought a road trip is something I needed after a tough month before. The trip proved to be painful. It was a trip down memory lane where reconciliation and reunion was the intended purpose. But when the trip involved the ex boyfriend that I broked up with just 2 months before, reunion is the last thing in mind.

A silent Christmas
Last year, I spent Christmas alone in my flat, with flatmate all gone home or elsewhere, it was a silent silent day and night. I have just got home from Paris 2 days before Christmas 2012, so a quiet resting day is very much a bliss.

I am always indifferent to Christmas, I am not Christian and our family never celebrate Christmas, we only started to go for simple meals a few years back and I only started getting present when I have boyfriends to spoil me with them. Christmas is always wrong with the "wrong" temperature with the "wrong" feeling. I suppose if Christmas at the Southern Hemisphere was advertised as much instead, I would feel better. But unfortunately it was the opposite that is on all Christmas cards, Christmas movies and Christmas songs. Being in a cold country during Christmas somehow gave me comfort that I am in the "correct" temperature with the "correct" feeling.

And within 2 years, I managed to convince myself Christmas time is not a good time. It may be a time of joy and giving but since 2 years ago, I had been feeling "wrongly". So, its suffice to say I never really like Christmas for what it is. I like the presents and the boxing day sale though.

A traditional Christmas
This year I was invited to a traditional English Christmas. I don't know what to expect because I never been to one before, not even one with a Christian family back home, let alone an English family. Its slightly overwhelming for me and even more so when a not very homely person like me is going to spend time with HIS family during this festive time of the year and I have nothing Christmassy except a snowflake necklace to wear, even that wasn't Christmas specific (his mum came to rescue by getting me antlers to put on).

It goes without saying that it turned out to be all good (lots of champagne, chocolate and food), I felt welcomed and had a great time and what's best is I received presents from him and his family, even the little baby. Although this is not much of a cultural shock to me, I still feel awkward to rip my presents' wrapping paper apart in front of the gifters. But seeing how happy everyone is opening presents and a young, new mother being like a kid makes me feel all warm inside and much less awkward.

The best present of all is I got to witness how it is like to celebrate Christmas in the most traditional way, eat a proper Christmas meal lovingly prepared by the BIL, witnessed how loving and caring someone like him can be and 2 for-you-when-you-wear-your-leather-jacket necklaces . It absolutely changes my perspective about having my own family. Maybe I am a true Cancer after all. That or maybe I am growing old and maternal instinct are kicking in.

Ending this post with a picture of me being a very believable reindeer.

In the span of 3 years, I had 3 very different Christmases but needless to say, this year I had a great, if not the best, Christmas with good company, good meal and good news. I hope everyone's Christmas was as good as mine. Here is to wishing the start of many great Christmases to come, may my future Christmases be as good as this one if not even better!

Birthdays

I recently celebrated my 24th birthday, I just got around to accept me being 21 and bam! I am 24. Time is so cruel. From now on, if anyone ask, I am 18. Forever.

Anyway, this year was ordinary yet extraordinary. It started out somewhat normal because I have to hand in my dissertation final draft. And in all glory, procrastination is being the most productive. However, due to the obscenely hot weather, I had minimal sleep, waking up every couple of hours, wiping off sweat from my forehead, trying extremely hard not to peel off every single thread from me and sleep stark naked in front of the open window. During those sleepless morning, I somehow find myself being useful, working on the dissertation little by little. At least the heat served its purpose.

Cousin was here in London and as she will be here until morning of 19 July, we had an early celebration.

Pretty standard, a dinner with a present that I wasn't expecting. Honestly, she being here is a present enough.

Miraculously, I somehow managed to complete 95% of the dissertation by 19th July as promised. So, with still more than 24 hours left for the dissertation deadline, the celebration begins. I started out lying under the sun for a good 20 minutes after a revisit to childhood times, climbing up scary looking trampoline and conquered a 2-stories high rocket-shaped playground equipment. In fact, it wasn't a revisit, it was a successful first attempt.

It follows with aimless walks before getting home to get ready for the night. Coincidentally, the colours of our outfit matched. Its black and white, its hardly a coincident. I headed to a gay pub near King's Cross. Having not been to a gay pub, I was fed alcohol well before then. Safe to say, after half a pint of Guinness, I was wiped. But somehow, I still managed to played the best game of pool in my life, having previously played twice. I managed beat someone who had been playing for the past 20 years of his life.

Hugs and kisses were flying all over the entire night, I admit I might be a tad too friendly, it scares someone a little. I stayed for 15 minutes of a wonderful cabaret by Dolly Diamond and probably got pissed at for leaving half way through. But with a zero tolerance to alcohol, its best not to make a mess. Its suffice to say that I went straight home and fell asleep.

I woke up 6 hours later with no hangover watsoever, I continue to finish the 5% of my dissertation. By 10, I finished and submitted, ready to enjoy another day of celebration. Things went pretty slow within the first half of the day. I laze around, talking shit and emptying my wallet with the occasionally calls from the family to wish me Happy Birthday. Determined to make my birthday somewhat interesting, my friend told me off for doing such mundane task on my birthday and dragged me to the pub for drinks and a game of pool. After the trauma of the previous night, I decided to stay clear from alcohol and start with diet pepsi. The game of pool sucked. I was horrible. With the theory that I should be tipsy to be good in playing pool, I ordered Courvoisier with a splash of coke. First glass went down well, I got better in playing pool. Then come the next glass, game of pool improved but I didn't. I went into the tipsy stage and got really hungry.

The only meal I had on my birthday and eating like a hobo. Disgraceful.

Not hard to guess what colour balls is mine. 

We stopped by Tesco, got a bottle of sparkling wine and a can of Pringles and head home. It doesn't take a genius to guess what I did next. I went face flat on my bed and slept the night away. The weather was kind to me, I slept with no interruption for 10 hours and woke up feeling extremely good.

With only a handful of people wishing my Happy Birthday and in grand total I received 1 present from my cousin, 1 "sort of" present from a friend and 1 card from a very good friend. But this is by far the most memorable birthday ever. I had my first gay pub experience, I got drunk and really happy and I had 2 days worth of celebration (its still on going). It was nothing like the first time I celebrated in London and I am quite sure that no future birthday will beat this routine yet spontaneous birthday. Not to mention, I met someone new that share the same birthday. I hereby declare that I am a firm believer that anything can happen, planned or not.

To all that wished me Happy Birthday, I thank you sincerely. To those that made an effort, I love you. To all that doesn't, its alright, I am not good with birthdays too.

Now, I just need a decent piece of cake and I will officially end the celebration for good, until next year at least.