The Purpose

The purpose of the grand scheme of everything is defeated if one is doing something just for the sake of it.

The Four Loves

The Four Loves

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. 

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. 

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. 

Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. 

But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. 

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. 

To love is to be vulnerable.” 

- C.S. Lewis

Heaven on Earth

What's better than starting a year by going on a vacation? A nice, relaxing, sand in your toes - sea water in your hair - almost sunburned skin kind of vacation. Days spent by the beach, stuffing my face with awesome Thai food, replenish that fading tan. Its heaven on earth.

Oh! Add in an awesomely annoying adventure partner that would gladly make sure you got as much ice cream as you pleased. Yes, I said ICE CREAM and also, coconut water.

Now this makes my skin itching for some time under the sun with coconut water.

Broken

"Broken"

I'll wait here for you for I'm broken.
Down, I'm coming down this town for my heart lies
Far and away where they took you down.
Led them over to your house
Where I'm broken.

Down by the people if they let you breathe.
Don't give a damn if you still can't see,
Still my heart beats for you.

Have become all I lost and all I hoped for.
But I must carry on
Always one
Never broken.

Run to the lobby where I saw you try.
Don't give a damn for your reasons why.
Where soul feels.

Down in the valley where the church bells cry.
I'll lead them over to your eyes.
Whoa, oh, I am one, I am one.

Break story of peace and love in a future
Bright sacrifice came around
Never broken

Down by the people if they let you breathe.
Don't give a damn if you still can't see.
Traveling a street that I did not go.
Wheels like tong to the winter lope.

Down in the valley where the church bells cry,
I'll lead them over to your eyes!
Whoa, oh, I am one
Whoa, oh, I am one
I am one.

Credit: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jakebugg/broken.html 

Annee Deux Mill quartorze

Its a year of change, a year of growth, a year of opportunities, a year of understanding and a year of love.

Went on spiritual and physical journey.
This is really a bit of a floozy claim. I was very lost since late 2012, not entirely sure what I wanted to do and constantly doubting myself. Adding in getting increasingly annoyed by my life situation just to realise that situation in life is not going to change if I don't accept changes and a lot of times its just a change of perspective that does the job. I've written an entire essay on how to embrace change here. I'll be honest, I still have those annoyed moments when things don't go my way but the improvement is, these moments come in smaller doses than ever. Considered change.

Proudest achievement is finding peace within myself
I decided to give yoga a try after being recommended by a friend. I never considered myself a yoga person. I love adrenalin, I like momentum, I like not doing something in slow motion, in short - I refused to succumb myself to myself entirely. 

Yoga requires the yogi to entirely rely on him / herself. Previously I have thought practising Yoga is an easy feat, I mean how difficult can those several poses be? WRONG. I realised I wasn't as strong and definitely not patient enough. Practising Yoga allow myself to find my weaknesses and work on it. I still wasn't very sure of it yet but I've seen changes in myself, physically and mentally. 

Running to a whole new level, 10 miles
This is where I got my adrenalin fix - Runner's high. Running started out as an escape and slowly all that huffing and puffing did not allow much distraction to the mind anymore. But whenever I find myself stressing over things, all I have to do is go for a run, a short 20 minute run set a whole new perspective for me. There surely is nothing a cup of tea and a run can't fix.

New additions to my body art
Its no surprise to everyone that know me, I am a fan of "body art". I started piercing my ears since I was 12 and didn't stop until I had both of my ears full of piercings. After I've grown older, I shifted to tattoos. I started late, I've gotten my first tattoo when I was 22. 2014 is the year I started live in my "Live. Laugh. Love" tattoo. The point of it is, I need to learn how to Live then to Laugh only to Love. I managed to fulfill Live and Laugh pretty well. But I am still learning to love. If I was a hopeless romantic, I am certainly not anymore. But slowly I allow good things to grow organically rather than trying to force it. Sometimes, learning to love also means letting what or who that doesn't make you happy go and sometimes its letting that person go because I don't make him / her happy anymore. 

As of today I have 4 tattoos and I don't plan to start anytime soon. 

Did I mentioned books? Read record number of books
2014 was a year of searching; soul searching, job searching, searching for inspiration. When I wasn't searching, I inject my brain with much needed knowledge. I was always a fan of books but genres are limited to fictional and motivational. I started giving poetry a try then dive straight into those I deemed cheesy-motivational in the past. 

I have successfully completed 31 books when the year is over. My favourite book is a kid's book recommended by my best friend - The Little Prince.

New languages
I wasn't a person that is strong in languages in school. Although I hated Mathematics to the core, I excelled in Mathematics and had once considered pursuing Maths for my tertiary studies. I decided to learn an extra language that I've always wanted to after I completed my thesis 15 months ago while travelling around. 3 months worth of French later although I did not have more than 20 vocabulary in me, I managed to do something that I had previously thought I needed talent to do so. 

I am now still learning French and the language is sticking to me pretty well. 2015, I challenged myself to another language while learning French. I am not sure how well I will fare but as far as challenges go, I am loving this one. 

Friends and Loved Ones
I am not a home person. I have enough bad experiences with friends that makes me never want to grow attach to anyone. But I've met enough good people in 2014 to make me have faith in human kind after all, not to mention the awesome people that helped me through thick and thin. Those that never hesitated when I needed to borrow their ear. 

Of course there won't be great times without sad ones. I lost a few friends to distance and life. As a person of action, it pains me greatly that whilst effort could be put in to retain the relationship. Sometimes its time to let go. So however unwillingly, I let it go like how Queen Elsa did. 

Perspectives
I used to appreciate grand gestures, now I would cherish a simple well-meaning wish or blessing. A bad event could be a blessing in disguise or a wake up call. A good one could be a disaster in the making. When great things happen, be humble. When bad ones come knocking on your door, remember that it might just be a lesson for a better future. See the beauty in everything! There is bound to have something worth remembering in each and every event.

Bonne Année!

Happy New Year! 

May 2015 bring more laughter than tears.

Thank you for entering my life and staying. 

I LOVE you all!

Human Connection

Young Melissa likes people to like her, I remembered I was told by a friend that she knew someone I know doesn't like me, I did not stop bugging her to let me know who that someone was for days. Dislike is a harsh word. I like to see it as INCOMPATIBLE. Both of you are either compatible, where there's a connection either verbally or non-verbal OR both of you are not compatible. Simple as. No matter how hard you tried to connect, the wave length is just not syncing.

Thing is, it should be that way. We would be way too busy if everyone are able to connect with everyone. I'll let you in a secret, not a single individual on earth are able to connect with everyone, if you think you can, you are just lying to yourself. Its impossible.

And this makes the people you can connect with, extremely precious. Truth be told, there aren't that many. Mixing in the uncertain elements in life, its downright scarce. I myself have a handful of friends that I could talk to about anything. Every conversation is like a fun lesson. But it is not easy trying to keep that up but good thing doesn't come easy, no?

Recently, I caught up with a friend after a few months. Boy was that conversation a pain in the beginning. Our wave length is so out of sync that I struggle to find the connection we once had. The first 30 minutes are mainly made up with "I don't understand(s). Speak English please. What(s)?" But 30 minutes into the conversation and a little help from wine, there we are again. Conversation flows , silent moments aren't at all awkward. Best part of all are the friendly matches of sarcastic comments.

Of all the wise inspirational BS that were said, this one left a rather impressionable mark on me.

"Everyone need at least another individual, every single human being need to connect with another human being. This is why social media is so addicting. Unfortunately, that came with a downside, we are too busy focusing on connecting with the world we forgot the person sitting right in front of us."

See, I knew this all along but it seem so much wiser coming from that friend of mine. I am very fortunate to know people from all around the world and that means I rely on social media a lot to keep in touch with most of them. Snail mail takes too long. And sometimes life does slipped in and come between me and them. But I believe that if the connection is there, all we have to do is just pick up where we left off. And it will always seems like no time had passed.